Thursday, February 23, 2012

Bruce Wayne: The Big Sissy.

Alfred Pennyworth: Master Bruce it is time for your night patrol.

Bruce Wayne: -*snore*-

AP: Your respiration has increased and I saw your left eyelid twitch shut. Master Bruce, you are not fooling anyone.

BW: I have a charity function at 9:00 and I am getting my rotator cuff scoped tomorrow afternoon. I'm not going anywhere tonight Alfred.

AP: I sent an RSVP regrets and a rather large check to the charity ball. You are getting your ACL repaired tomorrow. Your shoulder is on Thursday. Get up.

BW: /rolls over

AP: Master Bruce? Is the Bat Man there? I need to speak to him.

BW: Fuck off, Alfie, I'm staying in bed.

AP: Don't you "Alfie" me, sir. I'm giving you two minutes and then I'm coming back with the ice water.

BW: Heartless bastard.

AP: Unrepentant sissy. (leaves room to get the ice water)

AP: (Under his breathe) Fear me for I am the night? He's got ruffles on his underpants. I am the spirit of unrequited vengeance? I am the master detective? The Dark Knight? I've skinned my knee and 'wants you kiss the boo-boo' is more like it.

AP: (returns down the hall with a carafe of ice water) Wakey wakey time Brucey-wucey. Uncle Alfred brought you some ice water. (under his breathe) Wake up or wear it. (enters bed room door)

BW: (standing nude but for his mask and cowl facing the full moon through the window) Bruce isn't here, Mr. Pennyworth ... I'm BAT MAN.

(fade to black)

1 comment:

  1. This vignette was brought about by Derrek, as Alfred, waking me up from my nap on Saturday evening to go to my 8:00 Feng Shui game. I was being a wuss and felt too tired to go. His annoyed "Alfred" woke up MCL and cajoled him into being Bat Man.